Family?

Love or hate? Disapprove or approve of me? Family. They're probably trying their best to guide us in life, maybe it's the opposite.. maybe you don't get along with your family at all, not even one precent. Or .. it's in between.

I wish I could be closer to my family, though. Where every Christmas my family would invite them over and we would have a big dinner together, but every year it's just the four of us. No one else, and we're sitting in seperate rooms. I'm in mine while chatting to my friends, my brother's on Twitter, Mum is cooking and watching movies, Daddy is on the internet talking to his friends too. Every year that's how it is. I can't say much about my family history, since I wasn't alive where majority of it had happened. That's okay, though.. I sometimes ask my Daddy or Mum how their childhood was like. Usually they're just light-hearted humorous stories that made me chuckle, or make fun of.

I wish that I could come to my whole family and depend on them, or have them call me every birthday I had--sadly that hardly happened and there's that handful of people who do say happy birthday to me.. Just not that much as I would have or should have. I don't know much about my family, but whatever it was that created a very desert-like gap between us I wish that it wasn't there.

But almost every family has their own problems. Whether it's about being gay, abuse, or careless parents.. it's still a conflict and if there wasn't such problems, there would be more happiness in the world..even by two precent. I'm trying my best to be close to my big brother, who seems to carefree and happy--but he has an edge to him. A rough edge, where he doesn't take trash from anyone and does things the way he wants. I'm not sure what his future will be at the moment, but I have confidence in him that he will make something worthy in his life. I know he doesn't want to be living off the streets, a total stranger. I'm certain that my family looks down on his decisions, but I don't look up to him nor do I look down at him. I'm just waiting to see what happens, and whatever happens..happens. He's told me some things he's not told anyone in the family but he doesn't have any business telling the family anyway. He's very passive with his compliments though, and he's a big jerk majority of the time I'm around him.. Always singing a Hindi song and dancing around the hallway and eating the food I planned on eating. What a weirdo.

He's the reason why I think about family. Family makes you think, makes you become a better person maybe not, they influence you one way or the other. But my brother. He's been a major influence on me. Not in a bad way, but the way I look at things at different angles.. it just amazes me. I wish he would realize how much I adore him, especially at this very moment.

Even though family can't exactly help with all of your problems or at least one, there are some families that just make people smile and help them mentally that it's gonna be okay without actually telling them. My brother is like that, he makes me laugh. Sometimes though, don't you ever have this urging feeling to just blurt out whatever is bothering you to your mum or relative? That one person you trust or that relative you're near and just say it?

I feel like that, however I'm wondering how my future with my family would be like. I want to support my family but almost every child who is satisfied with their family-life could say this.

Who knew family can be a massive impact on you as an independent individual?